so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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