so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
