Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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