you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
