You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
