Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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