ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
