the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
