hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
