I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
