sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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