North Korea, Best Korea!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
