I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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