I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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