i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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