Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
