just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
