What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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