I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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