Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
