Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
