No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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