As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
