ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
