My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
