So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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