We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
