We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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