She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
