I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
