Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
