I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
