I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
