I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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