Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
