I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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