I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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