eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
