U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
