let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
