1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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