Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
