Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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