i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
