I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
