Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
