I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
