Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
