there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
