so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Randomize
